Your feelings may deceive you. So, be careful of getting too wrapped up in them. Perhaps you feel yourself getting pushed and pulled in directions that you don't feel comfortable with. You may tolerate this tension for a while without expressing your feelings to any one. This policy is extremely dangerous, for it may give others the impression that it is OK to continue treating you the way they do...
This is a beautiful article: The woman in your life - very well expressed..
Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day one, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen,
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities; Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this..
Appreciate "HER"...
I hope you will...
I was going through my mail box last night when I opened a mail from Jija. Thought to post it.
Jija in his mail writes ,"I still remember how some of my friends (from school) used to be so very kicked about the albums 'Thriller' (Just beat it) and 'Bad' (I'm bad, who's bad!) trying to imitate him, dance like him and of course, moonwalk like him. More lately, his 'History' album (this was when I was in my first year at IIT) was also followed quite a bit although it was a flop. I remember the 'We are the world' song for its lyrics and the music.
Reading about all the criminal investigations and the molestation cases is so very disturbing somehow. Wish I could understand better how a mind like his runs..... I remember thinking about how I had loved Mackaulay Culkin after his 'Home Alone' and how it was disturbing to see the growth of a child being killed owing to the 'star status' and how he was eventually drawn into the Jackson molestation and alchohol controversy in 2005....
A reminder :
Time just flies. Make the most of whatever you have.
One of the most difficult but necessary skills we need to develop is learning how to be judicious without being judgmental. And as a preliminary step to developing that skill, it's good to reflect on the difference between the two.Being judgmental is basically an effort to get rid of something we don't understand and probably don't want to understand. We see something we don't like and we try to dismiss it, to stamp it out without taking the time to understand it. We’re impatient. Whatever we're being judgmental about, we just want to get rid of it quickly.
Being judicious, however, requires patience together with understanding. A judicious choice is one you've made after understanding all the options, all the sides of a question. That way your choice is based on knowledge, not on greed, aversion, or delusion.The problem with being judgmental is that it's not effective. We try to stamp out things here and they go springing up someplace else. Being judicious, though, is more effective. It's more precise. We see what's really skillful, what's really unskillful in the mind, and we learn how to disentangle the two. Often our skillful and unskillful habits get entangled. The things we don't like within ourselves actually do have some good in them, but we don't notice it. We focus instead on what we don't like, or what we're afraid of, and we end up trying to stamp it all out, the good along with the bad.
