I am perplexed, I am petrified, I am confused but at the same time I feel a sense of achievement, a strange happiness and a sense of belonging. The flow of these opposite thoughts keeps going until I reach a state of slumber where there is none but me and my consciousness. How I wish this state could be reached often and how I wish - one of the subjects taught in school was - how to perfectly balance your thoughts!
Moment to moment, the flows of thoughts and feelings, sensations and desires, conscious and unconscious processes sculpts my nervous system like water gradually carving furrows and eventually gullies on a hillside. My brain is continually changing its structure. The only question is: Is it for better or worse? It must be better because that what my inner voice shouts loud. One more year is going to pass, time is flying and I know I am wiser than yesterday. I know I have learnt my lesson this year and I know I am going to work on my weak points.