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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Don't give somebody your mind, give them your heart - Christopher Lowman

A great article written by Christopher Lowman. Read it to understand what it takes to interact :)

In every interaction you have with another human being - doesn’t matter who - you always have two main choices. (The keyword is choice.)

One choice usually leads to logical interaction, politeness, formalities. And, more importantly, a lack of connectivity.The other usually leads to interesting discussion, love, aliveness, friendship, gift giving. And connectivity.

In every interaction you are either giving somebody else your mind - your intellect, your intelligent points, the who/what/where/when/why of your existence.This is the easy thing to do. The safe thing to do. It doesn’t require much, if any, emotional strength or really expose who you are. In this way, you can hide from other (or from your self, depending on how you look at it) and not risk rejection by not even giving somebody the chance to reject you.

Or, you are giving somebody your heart - the real you, your presence, your true attention.This is the hard thing to do. The risky thing to do. It involves an enormous amount of emotional strength.It entails entering the present moment. And it entails pushing through the challenging and stifling fear of doing so.Instead of thinking about what to say or do, you let your inwardly felt experience inform your words and actions toward other.

Think about how often you self censor and hit the mute button. Why? Why not just assume that what you have to say is valuable, even if it comes out not so smooth? Then maybe you say next, “oh, that was lame” and then laugh.

It’s this kind of moment-to-moment truthfulness that is required.It’s so easy to practice because you always know what to say or do in any interaction with somebody else. The problem is having the courage to act on it.

Isn’t it time to feel less anxious and less alone and less unfulfilled? It might not be.If it is, it takes practice. Practice being comfortable with being uncomfortable and constantly choosing to flow freely instead of think. Choose wisely.!

4 comments:

Rajivkk said...

Having the courage to speak our minds and hearts does require a lot of strength, especially from inside. For we have to maintain the gentle balance of knowing being right and acting being right despite knowing that the receiver may or may not tread upon you in the wrong way.

An ideal should-have we should try to follow if at all, we want to be in harmony with others, and especially with ourselves

Vidhyashankar K said...

Giving someone your heart is actually the easy part as it comes from a sense of well being and is free of malice. But whether there is a reaction or a response to it is another matter. If the reaction happens in such a way that your heartfelt interaction is miscontrued, then you stand to lose your goodwill and reputation when your interaction is miscommunicated to the entire world. It is for this reason that giving someone your heart needs that censorship. Otherwise, it will be utopia always.

Kiran banda said...

I am not sure what it means by "giving your heart in an interaction" as the decision is more driven by the context / situation. However,in my opinion (subjective), an interaction is an action and an expectation is the consequence. Like the author fears, the risk is due to expectation and it doesn't matter if one is giving heart or something else during an interaction :)

On the other hand interaction is important as you get exposed to different schools of thinking.

Kiran banda said...
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