Here is wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year - 2010 ;)

Doers and Dreamers

I was having this short chat a few days back with a small group of people - one of whom was an HR Consultant, another with the background of Organizational Behaviour (OB) and yet another who was running psychometric tests for students. They were busy slotting people into different categories based on innumerable parameters that included everything between emotion and intellect, and how this profiling could help understand the behavioural dynamics of people. I am not so sure I understand the accuracy of psychometric profiling and the mapping of skillsets to job descriptions yet, but for an unthoughtful person like me, the world is divided very simply into the doers and the dreamers.

For the doers, the status of mind on a given day in one's life is derived directly from the status of the to-do list for the day. For them, all that matters at the end of the day is the number of ticks in the check-boxes of their to-do lists. The focus on getting a tick in the box is so sharp that all their conversations with others around them revolve around each item in the to-do list. Even all moments in a day that have no relation to this to-do list get completely intertwined with the completion status of the tasks in the list. Life is a straight line and any deviation from the straight line leads to frustration and anger.

On the other hand, there are the dreamers! The dreamers focus on everything that is in between the check-boxes. Most of their thoughts and energies are focussed on what is not the task, what is not the present and what is not practical. They enjoy the lack of focus on the task at hand and like to soak in every moment in its fullest. They do not like straight lines and look for distractions and deviations. They struggle badly in being up to speed with the doers.

I do not get along with either the doers or the dreamers. I guess I am somewhere in between. The doer and the dreamer. Wish someone taught me the right balance.

Clinging Causes the Pain - Tenzin Palmo

Genuine love and kindness is desperately needed in this world. It comes from appreciating the object, and rejoicing in the object, wanting the object to be happy and well, but holding it lightly, not tightly. And this goes for possessions too. You are in an extremely materialistic society in which the possession of more and bigger and better is held up as the total criteria for being happy.

What we own is not the problem, it's our attitude towards our possessions. If we have something and we enjoy it, that's fine. If we lose it, then that's OK. But if we lose it and we are very attached to it in our heart, then that's not fine. It doesn't matter what the object is, because it's not the object which is the problem. The problem is our own inner grasping mind that keeps us bound to the wheel, and keeps us suffering. If our mind was open and could just let things flow naturally, there would be no pain. Do you understand? We need our everyday life to work on this, to really begin to see the greed of attachment in the mind and gradually begin to lessen and lessen it.

There's a famous story of a coconut, which is said to be used in India to catch monkeys. People take a coconut and make a little hole just big enough for a monkey to put its paw through. And inside the coconut, which is nailed to a tree, they have put something sweet. So the monkey comes along, sees the coconut, smells something nice inside, and he puts his hand in. He catches hold of the sweet inside, so now he has a fist. But the hole is too small for the fist to get out. When the hunters come back, the monkey's caught. But of course, all the monkey has to do is let go. Nobody's holding the monkey except the monkey's grasping greedy mind. Nobody is holding us on the wheel, we are clinging to it ourselves. There are no chains on this wheel. We can jump off any time. But we cling. And clinging causes the pain.

Captions invited for pic below :)

I am ALIVE !!

ZINDAGI KHATAM BHI HO JAYE AGAR,
KHATAM HOTA NAHI YEH DUNIYA KA SAFAR!!!

Mind, execution and random thoughts!

From past few weeks I have been running around - at home and at work. My mind has never stopped thinking, it has been continuous in thought process - in making castles, in making plans but execution has always failed and that is what torments me. I was reading an article which said,” Execution is everything. Plan all you want, dream all you can, then turn that key or you've accomplished nothing. Execution is what separates those with lofty ideas from those who end up winning the game. It's about taking strategies and making sure they are implemented with power.” Ahh! When will I learn to execute things!! That is a big mystery which I am sure will get resolved sooner or later.

Its 12.30 AM which means 4th October, 2009 has passed and new day has already started. I see all my family members deep in slumber. Few more hours and it will be bright and sunny but right now the drawing room is dark, empty and silent. It is windy outside and I can hear the buzzing of the mosquitoes. The collage on my cupboard reminds me of good old days, of the moments spent with family and friends. Some books lie on my bed side reminding me that I need to go through them as soon as possible. I can see the curtain of my room moving to and fro. I lie in discomfort thinking of the day - how it started and how it came to an end. My eyes are tired. How I wish – there should be better understanding between people and better way of executing plans. I need to work on it - soon.

Void

Sometimes, I wonder why one finds a void, some uncertainty creeping up when life goes on and on. It’s a sudden rush when one is busy with the mundane of life, with daily chores - one feels as if there has much to be achieved, so much to learn, so much to ask for, so much to live but time seems to be a big constraint. The question sometimes is where to start and what to do?

Some questions which often call for an immediate attention and which keep on disturbing are – “I don’t know who I am anymore? What is that I have achieved till date? and many more.” Perhaps each day I spend with family and friends is taking me closer to end of my life and questioning not only who I am, but who I have been - I feel disturbed, petrified, I feel some void, something missing. No matter where I am in life’s journey, such questions usually evoke confusion and when there is no ready response, the ensuing silence is more frightening, the silence is more devastating.

While I was flicking through the pages of a book I came across some interesting lines - mind creates defense mechanisms to deal with any number of pressures put upon the psyche- trauma, information overload, frustration, indecision, despair. It works the subconscious mind while you work the conscious. But sometimes it so happens that we are totally unaware, with no resolution or answer ever to be given. There are some immediate concerns which cannot be answered by mind too and that is where you find a VOID!

My Experiences with CRM Sessions

As a child I grew up being very naughty. I used to be a naughty child although very good at studies but naughtiness used to be one of my ingrained characteristics.

Lately, I have been taking CRM sessions (for those who do not understand the jargon – CRM means Customer Relationship Management) in office. Actually, one of my passions would be teaching. Conducting CRM sessions was fun and in addition to imparting sessions to my colleagues it gave me a chance where I could brush my own skills.

After conducting CRM sessions for a month here is what I can summarize from my personal experience:

1) Teaching is a two way process where the teacher is the giver and the student is the receiver. It involves a relation between the mind of one person (teacher) and the mind of another (student).
2) It is important for a teacher to be patient while teaching. There are times when one can be tested for his/her patience levels and am sure people who have higher levels of patience can turn out to be marvelous teachers.
3) Expect unexpected things from students.
4) Never ask from the students the unreasonable, ask what they are unable to give.
5) Before imparting any lecture it’s a good practice to read and understand the topic before hand. Learn before you preach should be the motto of a good teacher.
6) It’s important to use real life examples while imparting lectures. In this way the receiver gets a clear understanding of the topic as well as the situation.
7) One of the important challenges which a teacher can face is to keep the interest of the students alive for the whole session. This requires lot of skill. Asking questions and encouraging student to interact helps in reducing the monotony.

Teacher is not merely a talking book or a broadcast to an unknown audience he/she should be held in utmost reverence. It is important to give respect to teachers because teaching is devoted to the good of others. It is an act of supreme generosity which few can impart.

When nostalgia hits!!

The heart that gives, gathers.
Change your thoughts and change the world.
Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things.
Keep your face to sunshine and you will not see the shadows.

When nostalgia hits, it hits hard!

Ah! The hangover of the ready morning smile...

I had intended to use the subject of my earlier post for a longer discussion, but ended up posting just the poem as I always thought that it was good enough to demand exclusivity and I did not have the rest of the content ready. I use this one to continue once again on the same thread (sorry for sticking to it, but the last one DID remain incomplete!)

Last week, most mornings at home began with discussions on our absolute disgust at the lack of commitment, honesty and sincerity in the support staff (can't find a better term for the maids, cooks, nannies and the drivers of the world!) and how to prevent their sudden and sometimes even extended leaves of absence. I am just out of a session with one such staff delivering the last and final warning of giving out a 'pink slip!' (of course given for the nth time). I have always tended to dislike the propensity in people to score high and win battles based on decibel levels (most of them are always ignorant of the severe after-effects on other people), and am pleased to say that in this case again, I did not have to test the extremes of either my decibel level or my temper.

On my way to office however, I began to think about how a few signficant moments, especially those in the early mornings, tend to change the complexion of my entire day. A hearty laugh at the beginning of a day has always enthused me no end and brought a spring in my step. Conversely, a bad argument early on in the day has more often than not tended to drag the rest of my day down in a negative spiral. I am not sure if I could apply the principles of 'momentum' or 'inertia' out here, but I will find it hard to deny the strong influence of the mental makeup of one moment over the next. And......more importantly, the mood of one person over the other. Simply put, I am referring to the 'hang-over' of situations and moods of people in one's lives!!! That brings me to the subject of this post which is essentially a continuation of the previous one - the hangover of a morning smile.

Before we go to the morning smile though, I should speak about an article that I was recently going through about a fascinating study on 'happiness' published in the British Medical Journal. While the results of the study - "Happiness is contagious" - did not reveal anything that we already do not know, I found some elements fascinating because of the effort made to go a step further and understand the rationale for contagion (misery may not love company but happiness does! - why?) as well as quantify the spread/impact in the social networks. They found that when someone gets happy, that person’s friend experiences a 25% increased chance of becoming happy. A friend of that friend experiences a nearly 10% chance of increased happiness, and a friend of that friend has a 5.6% increased chance of happiness.In addition, a spouse experiences an 8% increased chance while the next-door neighbour experiences 34% !!! (Now, do not ask me why the next door neighbour experiences a 400% greater chance of being happy than your spouse!) Expectedly, sadness is far less contagious as it makes you pull away from others thus giving them lesser exposure to your bad mood. Coming back to the smile more specifically, scientists in Sweden at the Uppsala University have seprately figured out why it's so difficult to keep a straight face when others are grinning away. Apparently, there is a shortcut to the part of the brain that recognizes faces and expressions that bypasses the area responsible for conscious processing.

Without getting carried away by the research studies themselves (sometimes, I tend to read them - especially in the Science section of the TOI - because I find them more amusing and funny than informative!), I like to come back to the subject that I am more fascinated with - the 'morning smile'. Now, how is a morning smile different from an afternoon or an evening smile ? I am definitely not going to talk about all of them out here, but you would appreciate the fact that there are innumerable variants of a smile each quite different from the other (depending on the angle of the twitch in the face and its honesty, the time or the person giving that smile !). Essentially what I am referring to is the first greeting that you give a person you are seeing or meeting for the first time during the day starting from the one that you wake up with lying on the bed.

The positive energy flowing from the warmth of this morning smile is like booster shots given to fallen football players. Can be addictive as coffee and give you the high of a marijuana, and the longest hang-over that you would never regret having !! The picture in your mind of a lazy beautiful smile from the bed with the first rays of the sun streaming very gently through the curtains is like a slow invigorating drug making you feel calm and blissful to begin with, and filling you up with energy in time. Beginning the day on a positive note more often than not has led me to have a more productive and fruitful day, and this is one hangover that I really look forward to. It makes you think about all the nice things in the world, about how you are likely to go out there today and conquer the world. It makes you dream, and how I love dreaming...... there is so much in your hands to make yourself feel good !! Conversely of course, it goes without saying that I hate to start my day with an argument or a complaint or in a bad mood.

I tend to be most comfortable, energetic and happy when I am with people who have this 'ready smile' with them. Sometimes, a ready grin is even more delightful, and the one that is a touch naughty with a twinkle in the eye just floods my head up completely!! I feel like the the parched earth dancing to the first monsoon rain, and celebrating the joy in the air. I am posting this to thank everyone around me who care to give me that million dollar smile the first thing every morning. With small babies and big babies around me at home, I have been lucky to enjoy the ready grin (many a times with the twinkle!), and I simply devour these moments and the kids!!

Kids do not always continue to remain kids, and life always offers these fascinating twists that tend to sober down people and suck certain things away. My message - A beautiful smile (and even a ready naughty grin) is god's gift to you and it gives you enormous power that you may not realize, with potential to change other people's lives. Come what may, do not lose it...... as this hangover is one that everyone will love looking forward to!

Increase your face value.........with a smile

A smile costs nothing, but gives much.
It enriches those who receive,
without making poorer those who give.
It takes but a moment,
but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or
mighty that he can get along without it,
and none is so poor but that
he can be made rich by it.

A smile creates happiness in the home,
fosters good will in business,
and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,
cheer to the discouraged,
sunshine to the sad,
and is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be
bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen.
For it is something that is of no
value to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.

Give them one of yours,
as none needs a smile so much as
he who has no more to give."

On Request from C and H :)

My mom and my dad are not what they seem.
Their dull appearance is part of their scheme.
I know of their plans. I know their techniques.
My parents are outer space alien freaks!

They landed on earth in spaceships humongous.
Posing as grownups, they now walk among us.
My parents deny this, but I know the truth.
They're here to enslave me and spoil my youth.

Early each morning, as the sun rises,
Mom and dad put on their earthling disguises.
I knew right away their masks weren't legit.
Their faces are lined - they sag and don't fit.

The earth's gravity makes them sluggish and slow.
They say not to run, wherever I go.
They live by the clock.
They're slaves to routines.
They work the year 'round.
They're almost machines.

They deny that TV and fried food have much worth.
They cannot be human. They're not of this earth.
I cannot escape their alien gaze,
And they're warping my mind with their alien ways.
For sinister plots, this one is a gem.
They're bringing me up to turn me into them.

C & H , an all time favorite

Yesterday Adu was "repairing" the coffee table with his wooden hammer.Think I read way too many Calvin’s while pregnant ;o).

Barsaat ka asar

Just back from home and the weather is perfect for a long drive. The wind and the light drizzle,ahhhhhhhhh..Why do we morons have to sit in office writing and evaluating lines and lines of code ;o(.

Since someone (there is ONLY one person who can do that) banned me from listening to JS at home, I decided to PASTE (post) my favorite JS ghazals minimum one in a month, right here at her doorstep ;o).

Here is one such soulful, soothing one.My fav -- the first and the last two lines.If only we remember and keep them in our mind all the time!!

Duniya jise kehte hain jadoo ka khilona hai
Mil jaye to mitti hai kho jaye to sona hai

Achchha sa koi mausam tanha sa koi aalam
Har waqt ka rona to bekaar ka rona hai

Barsaat ka badal to deewana hai kya jane
Kis raah se bachna hai kis chhat ko bhigona hai

Gum ho ki khushi dono kuchh der ke saathi hain
Phir rastaa hi rastaa hai hansna hai na rona hai!!

Mood: Shant

Discipline - The means of spiritual evolution

The post has nothing to do with the picture above ;o).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today everything happening around me reminded me of Scott Peck's "The Road Less Traveled". Considering how memory is failing me these days I guess I have to read the book once again page one to page last. The book in short is a description of the attributes that make for a fulfilled human being.

Below I (will TRY to) am posting the review of my favorite chapter in the book-Discipline.According to Peck, discipline is essential for emotional, spiritual, and psychological growth as a human being.He describes discipline as "the means of spiritual evolution".Peck describes following four key aspects of discipline

Delaying gratification - Sacrificing present comfort for future gains
Acceptance of responsibility - Accepting responsibility for one's own decisions
Dedication to truth - Honesty, both in word and deed
Balancing - Handling conflicting requirements. Scott Peck talks of an important skill to prioritize between different requirements-bracketing

Delaying of gratification is defined as sacrificing present comfort for future gain. This is, in fact is an important skill for both children and adults to learn. Most children have this skill learned at an early age. Unfortunately, a large number of us (grown ups) either do not have this skill, or push it to the side. I admit that I am guilty of not exercising delay of gratification. Doing tasks right before they are due is a commonality in my life.

Acceptance of responsibility for oneself and one's actions is a really big deal in today's times. In my opinion, I think this may be one of the hardest things to accomplish. Most of us children/adults, will never admit that we did anything wrong, even when it's completely our fault.

Dedication to the truth is as important as the acceptance of responsibility. This dedication has to be both in word and action. The dedication to truth is not just about avoiding lying. The idea is that if one is living under false pretensions, life will not be as fulfilling as it would be if truth was a big part of one's life.

The final aspect of the discipline theory is balancing - the technique of flexibility. Each one of us has to handle conflicting requirements of life at some point in our life.Scott Peck talks of an important skill to prioritize between conflicting requirements-bracketing. Most of us are very rigid with our lives, functioning with set patterns of behavior day after day. Part of this technique is also learning to give up something that is dear and familiar to us. In refusing to suffer the pain of sacrifice, we fail to truly grow.

It is in giving that we gain more and truly grow.

Recession and the Happiness Index

With the Sensex back to the 15000+ levels, and analysts already making a U-turn in their predictions to re-pompom the new India growth story (is there anyone speaking about a less than 9% growth?), I decided that one needed to quickly write about the recession before it became history.

If Analysts can be tickling funny with their predictions, the Economists can be dead serious. Alan Greenspan once worked out a corelation between the sale of men's underwear and recession. He predicted that the sales of men's underwear should go down during a recession. His logic - noone sees a guy's undies (seems like the poor guy is not clued into the latest in fashion) so they are the first thing men stop buying when the economy tightens. I am not sure why men have been singled out here in his prediction, but he probably understands a thing or two about women's fashion that I do not! I enjoyed reading about the hemline indicator though. Burton Malkiel explained in 'A random walk down Wall Street' that bull markets tend to be associated with shorter hemlines and bare knees while the bear markets at the stock market would typically mean a bear market for the girl watchers!

I do not have enough data to prove or disprove Greenspan's prediction (if I were the only data point, his theory would have been disproved already - stocked my cupboard with new undies quite recently!), but I wish someone came out with a research project corelating the recession to the happiness index. I have always known that work-life balance was a good part of the index with a significant weightage, but had never managed to work on this balance hard enough to positively influence the value of my index. My professsion hardly provided for room to influence this value in the index. The market downturn has of course changed everything altogether, especially in the broader industry that people say I belong to. Looking at the disinclination of the Private Equity and the Venture Capital Fund Managers to take decisions, I wonder what is so 'risky' about the 'risk capital' that these Fund Managers invest. But quite importantly, I thank them for their absolute lack of appetite for risk as it has given me the opportunity to work on the most critical lever that influences the Happiness Index - work-life balance.

The slow-down has given me the time to re-discover some of the lost relationships, and possibly even re-create the lost energy and fun in the very few that existed. The joy of a good personal life can be so addictive that it makes me smirk at the most important drivers of the American life - 'speed' and 'money' - and the influence that that culture has had on us. It makes me wonder if each one of us are using the wrong parameters to measure ourselves, but that's a separate discussion bordering on economics and philosophy. For now, I can only claim to have seen the immense positive rub-off that the recession has had on my Happiness Index!!

Never miss a corner

I have always found a mysterious sense of beauty associated with a corner. What awaits round any corner is always a surprise....a mystery..... a secret gate.... a new road! Unfortunately, when the corner is right next to you....very close, and you have passed by it very so often, you don't tend to realize or appreciate that beauty. Well, this particular corner shop came up so quietly that I never noticed (yeah, I have grown old). Over a period of time, this corner has managed to brew everything from coffee and hot irani chai to some fantastic dum aloos. If a lot can happen over coffee, I can assure you that almost everything in life can happen over dum aloos!! Wait as more unfolds....

Sometimes, you never realize how rewarding losing a game of TT can be (it is always great to have a bet to spice things up!), and for this opportunity, I am as thankful to God for not making me an expert sportsman as I am to the Company that hosted so many fantastic matches (I only hear of course!) amongst its employees and nurtured my most potent rival at this wonderful indoor sport.

More after the next match..... promise you that this one is going to be tough!!

New Members of Neeru's Corner

I introduce two new authors for my blog :)
1. Atreya
2. Kalpana Bhushan

In addition to my posts, you will see that the two will also be posting at this blog although occasionally. I hope you all will enjoy what they write.

All the best and happy posting.

Aromas of Kashmir - Dam Aloo Recipe

This if for you Nee..Killing time leads to doing impossible things.

Ingredients
20 small-sized potatoes
mustard Oil to deep fry
3 tspn Kashmiri chilli powder
2 tspn saunf powder
1/2 cup of curd
½ tspn of black cardamom (kali elaichi) powder
1/2 tspn of dry ginger powder
4-5 cloves
A pinch of asafoetida
½ tspn shahi zeera
½ tspn of garam masala powder
2-3 inch cinnamon sticks broken in small pieces
Salt to taste

Procedure
1. Boil potatoes in a vessel till they become a little soft (DON'T pressure cook.It will be a disaster).
2. Peel and prick the potatoes all over with the help of a very thin wire or you can use sharp long tooth picks also.
3. Heat oil in a kadai and fry the potatoes on slow flame till golden brown. Use oil generously.This is the most important step of the dum aloo cooking.
4. When the potatoes are getting fried, sprikle a little(only a little) asafoetida water over them.
5. Keep aside the fried potatoes in a vessel.
6. Heat mustard oil in a pan. Add shahi zeera,cloves,cinnamon sticks, and asafoetida.
7. Add Kashmiri chilli powder and keep stirring. Whisk curd and add.Keep stirring.
8. Add water (enough to cover potatoes),saunf powder, salt and bring to boil.
9. Add fried potatoes and cover the vessel with a lid and keep flame on low.
11.Put water over the lid so that potatoes cook by dum.
12. Cook till potatoes absorb the gravy and oil floats on top.
10.Add garam masala.

Tips
1.Choose potatoes with rough skin (pahadi aloo).Ones with smooth light color skin (sweet) are strict no no.
2.Don't pressure cook potatoes.
3.Prick throughly and fry on slow flame properly.
4.Cook by dum.

Thank you for everything

It has been long since I posted and I would say the reason for not posting is IPL (credit goes to Lalit Modi), 2009 Lok Sabha elections as well as am doing too many things together. I find no time to scribble these days.

Well as many of you might be familiar, I have added one more year to my life. I did celebrate my birthday on - May 23 (this is for all those who forgot to wish me on my birthday! At least remember it now :P) and this post is particularly for all those who made me feel precious on this very important day of mine.

I have received some incredible gifts from my friends as well as family. And this post is particularly for a close pal who says – “Neel tujaye kabhi aapni feelings express nahi karni aati.” :) I might not be good at expressing it but then thanks a ton for letting me know that and I promise to work on it from now.

For the time being, this one is for all of you - family as well as friends – (particularly for Alka) - you all are so sweet to remember my big day! What I do have of course is all of you and that makes every day special. I appreciate all you did very much, including your time and attention for me. With a wonderful bunch of people like you to spend time with, any age is great. My love to you all. God Bless!

Pain - Osho

This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert - because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert. When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone - those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked all, and then suddenly one day she is gone.

Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when,if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used. The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware!

And when you are aware, misery disappears."

Vote and Care

I don't care who you vote for (well, I wanted to but...), just VOTE please.Remember, many people in this world don't get a chance to decide their future. You do.

Thursday, April 16, 2009 – Voting day for Hyderabad - I could not do much because I never found my name in the Voter’s list irrespective of filing my papers. I never voted - I was very interested to vote this time but somehow laziness has made me corrupt. I have just one request to make : Please go and VoTe!

An intestering article - from TOI

NEW DELHI – Even in the world’s largest democracy everything is being done to make every vote count. This is apparently clear in the Indian state Gujarat, where a polling booth is set up for one single voter.

In the remote village of Banej, far into the Gir Forest, the guru Bharatdasji Bapu lives alone in a temple and is the sole voter in the area. Especially for him a voting booth is set up in a nearby ashram. Speaking to Indian media, the guru made clear that he intends to cast his vote on April 30, when Gujarat is set to vote in the third phase of India’s parliamentary elections that start today.

Besides the single voter booth in Gujarat a polling booth for only two voters is set up in the state Chhattisgarh and two booths for three voters is set up in Arunachal Pradesh.

Discussions!!

I was having a discussion sometime back with a family member of mine. The discussion was smooth and with no course of time I could see the arguments flaring out.

Some times, I hate when people talk in strident voice in a discussion. What do they want to prove and why on heaven’s sake do they need to raise their voice? They very much are aware that person who is the victim of their vagaries is nevertheless deaf but still they need to raise the voice thus increasing their so called BP.

I was wondering if in a discussion one person raises his/her voice what is the amiable solution the other should follow….May be shut his/her dirty mouth and never utter any word. That saves hell lot of time, energy and also the emotional trauma one is going through….

I don’t know what to write……????????

I long for success, I long for my dreams, my fantasies.......I long for everything.......... I am tired of explaining my mood swings to others and justifying it to myself. I am tired of reading. I am tired of talking, of discussing. I am tired of my phone rings in the night…. I am tired of behaving normally. I am tired of pretending. I am tired of being social. I am tired of remaining awake. I am tired of falling asleep. . I am tired of everything and everyone….

I hate when people speak of religion. When they say I am a Hindu, I am a Muslim, I am Christian and moreover when they say I am a Mallu, a Punjabi, a Kashmiri….Some how this feeling has not sunk deep inside me...I still have some questions….What do religions teach? Still need to know……………………………………………………

Hug - Dean Walley

It's wondrous what a hug can do.
A hug can cheer you when you're blue
A hug can say, "I love you so,"
Or, "I hate to see you go.

A hug is "Welcome back again."
And "Great to see you! Where 'er you been?"
A hug can soothe a small child's pain
And bring a rainbow after rain.

The hug, there's just no doubt about it --
We scarcely could survive without it!
A hug delights and warms and charms;
It must be why God gave us arms

Hugs are great for fathers and mothers,
Sweet for sisters, swell for brothers;
And chances are your favorite aunts
love them more than potted plants.

Kittens crave them, puppies love them,
Heads of states are not above them.
A hug can break the language barrier
And make your travel so much merrier.

No need to fret about your store of 'em;
The more you give, the more there are of 'em.
So stretch those arms without delay
And give someone a hug today!

Avooo at his best.....Love you!!

Money – is it everything in life?

It’s hard to be without money. To get on without it is like traveling in a foreign country without a passport – you are stopped, suspected and made ridiculous at every turn, besides being subjected to the most serious inconveniences. Money plays a crucial part in our life as well as in relationships and the truth is that, in many situations - it becomes a decisive factor. Life is just impossible without a buck in your pocket. Young or old, rich or poor, this is one thing which is equally essential for everyone, something you can’t survive without. Emotions and sentiments have got their own share in life but in day to day life, our day starts with money and perhaps - ends with MoNeY. You can’t imagine a single day stepping out of your home without your wallet. At crucial times, money lets you realize on whom you can count and depend on.

Money is one thing which doesn’t have any substitute. Even if your heart breaks today, sooner or later you will find someone else to share your grief and to make up your wounds. It may take time but it will surely heal. This is the reality. Life doesn’t stop for anyone. To put this in the crudest most materialistic way, though there’s no substitute of love, there is still substitute for your “beloved ones”, but there is no substitute of money. You can’t give up all your money and lead your life with something else.

Money as well power is like two sides of a coin. Money begets power and power begets money. I find it really heartbreaking to see this trend growing day by day when people do not hesitate to harm each other, even own brothers just for the sake of money. After all at the end of the day, what you are as a person is all that actually matters, not how much you own/earn.

Like anything else - money has its own limitations. It’s just a means to give your material comfort and time. It can save you from miseries which can be fought with factors available to purchase- like house, medicine, book, wealth etc. It can’t provide you the food for your heart and soul, your intellectual needs, the serenity and strength of your character, courage and wisdom. It can’t make you satisfied, content, relaxed and happy. After all, money is not every thing in life.

Sunday – The Fun Day !

“I wish you were here. Or I was there. Or both of us were somewhere. The high gardens of my imagination lie barren. I need to talk to you. About words, about restlessness, about fear. About pain, about sleepiness.” – Rahul Pandita

Its has been a miserable Sunday this week and without my little one round I feel a vacuum in my life..........I was wondering just a while ago - what Sunday actually meant few years back when Didi and I stayed in Begum pet house along with Sangeetha. It meant getting up late, watching new songs on MTV, [V] Channel, drinking mugfuls of tea and gossips. It meant taking a shower for at least an hour (and later getting scolding from di) and yes it yummy food cooked by Di.

Sunday actually meant waiting for someone’s arrival and yes it meant rasmalli (from Almond House). In addition to this it was inevitable to shop in Shoppers in the evening. Sunday meant watching an old movie in Zee TV and sleeping. It actually meant PEACE.

As Bryan Adams in his song says, “Those were the best days of my life”. They really were!….:)

No Illusions, No Resistances - Lao Tzu

Can you coax your mind from its wandering and keep it to the original Oneness?
Can you let your body become supple as a new born child’s?
Can you cleanse your inner vision until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things?

Giving birth and nourishing, having without possessing, acting with no expectations, leading and not trying to control, this is the supreme virtue.
Act without doing, work without effort. Think of the large as small, and the few as many.
Confront the difficult while it is still easy; accomplish the great task with a series of small acts.

The Master never reaches for the great: thus she achieves greatness.
When she runs into a difficulty, she stops and gives herself to it .She doesn’t cling to her own comfort: thus problems are no problem for her.

The Master gives himself up to whatever the moment brings.
He knows that he is going to die, and he has nothing left to hold on to,
No illusions in his mind, no resistances in his body.
He doesn’t think about his actions; they flow from the core of his being.
He holds nothing back from life; therefore he is ready for death, as a man is ready for sleep after a good day’s work!

Sardi, Khansi, Malaria…………………ya Typhoid

I am back in action - for all those animate souls who read my blog and don’t know me, I have been suffering from Typhoid since 10 days - out of which I have spent 5 magnificent days of my life on a rusted iron bed in a private hospital – (the name obviously which many of you know). This post is from the hospital bed at 11.00 pm on 5th of Feb, 2009.

I am in room # 21.The whole corridor rests in silence, peace and stillness. There is a strange power in silence and stillness. Sometimes, I hate silence because at times - silence makes me think of many aspects of life which I usually do not bother to think about. I am having an acute pain... Ya I am talking of pain...but what is the pain? Is it the pain of being alone in the hospital? No, it should not be that because some time back I have been visited by Didi, Adhvik and all the more Rajiv and Alka also. So what troubles me is the question? Yes - I know….I fear of death and loneliness. I close my eyes and deep down when I reach my slumber I realize that I am no longer a small kid and I should not expect any kid dish treatment meted out to me by any of the elder member in the family. I need to grow and realize my responsibilities.

I am the youngest in the family. Being the baby of the family has both its pros as well as cons. Less is expected of the youngest children.Babies of the family tend to be under less parental scrutiny than the firstborns. Of course these children, would complain that they often have more than one set of parents. Their siblings serve as extra parent figures.The youngest in the family is often known for being charming,affectionate, more carefree – in short, “a people person”.

Being the youngest in the family you are pampered to the core by the rest of the family especially by your sibling. You will be pardoned for your mistake as you are the youngest and still learning.You can go shopping and don't have to pay the bill because your elder brother or sister feels very generous. All these conditions make you a dependent person. You cannot make up your own mind for what is right and what is wrong because from the time you were born you were told to consult your elders for all your decisions. What you eat, what you study, what type of job suits you, how you need to plan for your future, how do you save your income tax, who all you should meet and who all you should like is all governed…yes governed by the elders - WHY because you are the youngest so that makes you incompetent of decision making.

I write this post not to offend any of the elder sibling but to put a food for thought into them. Younger brothers/sisters should not be treated as young, immature or irresponsible all the time, one should give them a chance to grow and prove. Even they can be wise and sapiential.

Abject Failure – Satyam

First, my apologies. It has taken me a while to post some of my articles even after receiving responses from my avid blog readers. Actually, I had not been keeping well. Anyway, I have been following the news for at least a fortnight now and some of things which interest me at present are – Omar Abdullah – the present chief minister of Jammu and Kashmir, Barack Obama – the US president, Rehman and SATYAM now known as India’s Enron.

SATYAM – can one say it’s an abject failure? Once upon a time the dream company for any graduate - has turned it future from riches to rags. The rise and fall of Satyam can be a big concern for India particularly when the whole world is hit by rescission. Satyam which is India's biggest corporate scandal in memory till date has threatened future foreign investment. It has brought into question the levels of corporate governance in the country and has cast an ugly shadow on the once shining image of Indian industry overseas. Satyam fraud can be the greatest threat to India’s corporate reputation unless handled proficiently.

Everyone associated with Satyam has lost something or the other. Some lost money, some lost their reputation. The big question is, will we learn something from this remorseful episode? It is believed that this fraud was going on for a number of years. During all those years, the auditing companies (one among big fours -PricewaterhouseCoopers) and independent directors did their jobs wonderfully but failed to identify anything. As per Dr Madhav Mehra, President World Council for Corporate Governance,” The biggest challenge for the companies is how to combat the culture of cosines in the board. We need independent directors who are trained to ask awkward difficult questions and have the courage to belch at the dinner table.”

As history has shown us repeatedly those who don't operate in a moral and ethical manner will eventually fail as in the case of Satyam.